I never thought I’d be writing about this—at least not so soon. But life has a funny way of taking sharp turns when you least expect it. Thirty days ago, I woke up from surgery and was told I’d be living with a colostomy bag. At the time, the word “colostomy” felt like a freight train hitting me in the chest. I didn’t know what it meant for my life, my body, or my identity.
Now, a month in, I can say this: it’s been hard. But it’s also been powerful.
Day 1–5: Shock, Pain, and Googling Everything
The first few days were rough. Physically, I was sore, stitched, and trying to understand how this pouch attached to my body was now part of my life. Emotionally, I felt like I was grieving—my independence, my “normal,” my body. I spent hours on Google, typing in everything from “how to empty colostomy bag” to “will anyone date me with a stoma?”
Spoiler alert: Google is both helpful and terrifying.
But in those early days, I found forums, blogs, and YouTube videos by other ostomates. They were raw, real, and full of tips. For the first time, I didn’t feel completely alone.
Day 6–14: Learning the Ropes
I slowly started gaining confidence. I learned how to change my appliance (a word I now use like a pro), what foods made my stoma behave, and what clothes helped me feel more comfortable. I had my first “accident” too. I cried, cleaned up, and kept going.
I also started naming my stoma—something many ostomates do to make peace with this new part of themselves. I named mine “Benny.” It helped. Benny and I were in this together.
Day 15–22: The First Outing
I was terrified to go out. What if it leaked? What if someone noticed? What if I smelled?
I took a deep breath, packed a small “go bag” with extra supplies, and met a friend for coffee. It went perfectly. She didn’t stare. I didn’t leak. And I laughed for the first time in two weeks.
That night, I realized something important: I’m still me. Just with a few more layers of strength.
Day 23–30: Acceptance in Progress
I’m not all the way there. There are still days I get frustrated. Days when the adhesive doesn’t stick right, or my clothes fit weird. But I’m learning to be gentle with myself.
Every day, I get a little stronger—not just physically, but emotionally too. I’ve opened up to a few friends. I’ve joined an online support group. I even started journaling again.
This journey isn’t one I would’ve chosen. But it’s teaching me resilience, compassion, and patience. And if you’re reading this because you’re at the beginning of your journey, here’s what I want you to know:
You are not alone. You are not broken. And you will figure this out—one day at a time.
Resources That Helped Me:
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United Ostomy Associations of America (UOAA) – https://www.ostomy.org
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YouTube: “Ostomy Diaries” by real people living it
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Ostomy support Facebook groups (just search!)
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My stoma nurse (aka the real MVP)
Final Thoughts
I don’t know what the next 30 days will bring. But I do know this: I can handle it. If you’re on this path too, reach out. Ask for help. Celebrate the little wins. And know that your story is still yours—beautiful, messy, and absolutely worth living.